What I Love About Hayden

To be honest, I have been struggling - like majorly struggling - with Hayden lately. This potty-training thing is wearing me out. I have just been getting so mad at him and frustrated that it seems like he doesn't even try to go in the potty. I hate having to force him every time. He's going to be 4 in January, and we've been doing this for a month already! How long is this going to go on? I've considered just putting him in pull-ups all the time, so that when he has his several accidents a day he doesn't pee all over the carpet, couch, bed, etc. But that's so expensive... I'm not sure what to do. And I have found myself yelling at him more often than not, and I'm not proud of it. Not only that, but because I'm so irritated with Hayden all the time, I feel like I've gotten much more short-tempered with Theo, too, and find myself yelling at him for silly little things. I really want to stop getting mad at Hayden. Potty-training turned out to be way more difficult than I expected. But then again, he has never seemed very motivated to do it - even when we first started trying with him at like 2 1/2. We stopped because he just didn't seem interested, but this time, I decided he was going out of diapers no matter what. It's turned into a big fiasco and I've learned just how little my patience is.

Anyway, I've been trying really hard to not yell at him and to just keep trying. We've tried everything that we can think of - from punishing him, taking away toys, making him sit on the potty for an hour, to rewarding him, praising him, buying him new toys and giving him treats everytime he goes. Our newest tactic has been to tell him how gross and disgusting it is that there's pee everywhere - Brandon thinks we should try to embarrass him. But, like everything else we've tried - we just keep getting the same result. He just doesn't seem to care. So why punish him? It just stresses us (me) out even more than if we just deal with it. And why reward him? He doesn't to care or seem interested. So, I just need to chill out and keep taking him to the potty every 30-60 minutes and clean up his pee spots every time he goes. I just need to do it and not get frustrated or mad. Much easier said than done though (ha!). I'm envious of people who's kids are trained at 2 years old.I keep reminding myself that someday, he will be potty-trained! There is no way this will last forever, this is just a ripple in the water causing tough times right now.

Well I was talking to my mother-in-law yesterday about how frustrated I am with him. She agrees that he is much more difficult than any of her 4 kids were, but that we just have to keep trying and to focus on the things he is good at and the things that we do like about him. And she's right, I feel like I've gotten so caught up in what's "wrong" with him that I'm forgetting to focus at all on what he is good at and what I love so much about him.

So, here's a list of things that I am purposely thinking about and trying to focus on that are good qualities with Hayden.

1. He was the cutest baby I've ever seen in my entire life (sorry Theo haha...and all other babies :) ).
2. He is generally very easy to take out and very rarely throws tantrums. His personality is so laid back, and I have loved that about him since he was born.
3. When he puts his mind to a task, he actually does it - and does it until it's done. He doesn't get distracted by much other than exactly what he is doing. Just recently he can sit down and do puzzles (kid puzzles) all by himself! We used to have to help him, but now he is much better at doing them himself.
4. He's smart in many ways - he knows his colors and is learning his ABC's (as long as I don't push him - then he shuts down), but that fact that he does know these things lets me know that he CAN learn and do things if he wants to.
5. I love watching him sleep. He just looks like the little baby he always has been to me and then of course my heart swells with love and I forget what a nightmare things have been lately.
6. He's got a loving heart. He can be mean to his brother, but for every time he is mean, he is also very sweet. Whenever we give him a cookie or a new toy or anything, he always shares with Theo or asks us where Theo's is. And he gives him hugs when he's in a loving mood. And he gives us hugs and kisses too!
7. He is very healthy and loves vegetables! I have honestly been secretly happy that we do not have to fight with him over eating healthy foods. He has been like this since he started solids. He LOVES almost all fruits and vegetables and is very picky about meat. He won't eat red meat at all (except an occasional breakfast sausage), and pretty much only eats chicken... sometimes. I think this is why he is so skinny too - because his favorite foods are salads and fruits. Brandon always jokes that if we all had to have an IV with our favorite foods to sustain us, then Hayden's would be tomatoes. (Mine would be Dr. Pepper, Brandon's would be coffee, and Theo's would be sausage lol - obviously he is the healthiest of our bunch!).
8. He has gotten very good at cleaning up his toys. It has made it so much easier for me lately to keep things cleaned up because he helps! I feel like I don't praise him enough for it. But the reason he does it is because he knows he can't get another set of toys out until the last one is cleaned up ;) He knows how to get what he wants.

So, those are the things I have come up with so far. If I think of others I'll keep talking about them.